Office Tactics

Diet coke FTL.

You know how sometimes office passageways can get congested by just a few people? Cubicle aisles are narrow enough by themselves. Anyway, I was just on my way to the break room, and I will practice my organizational skills by listing what happened sequentially.

1. I start walking down the long aisle towards the break room for a diet coke.
2. Some woman ganks me who comes out of a (slightly) closer entrance to the hallway.
3. She walks hella slow so I have to reduce speed to avoid collision.
4. My head is down as usual (making eye contact over cubicles is awkward), and since I am so close to her I notice how large her butt is.
5. I’m trying to be nice, but honestly that thing was huge. I gawk.
6. She has a Sigg aluminum bottle in her left hand, and I notice how that’s kinda cool.
7. We finally arrive to the breakroom, pretty much in tandem because her gigantic butt forces her to walk slowly and also prevents me from passing (that is what we engineers call “cross-functional”).
8. As she turns, she has an empty diet coke in her right hand that I didn’t notice because her love handle was blocking it from the Behind View.
9. I decide to get an Aquafina.